Family / Support

Ode to my husband

I have a confession to make: I don’t give my husband enough credit. I’m a stay-at-home mom, so I like to think the buck stops with me in our house. I take care of everyone, I make sure everyone eats, I make sure everyone is clothed, I am the expert on all of the ick that comes with kids (there is a lot of ick!). In my head I am Supermom and nothing can stop me. The truth of it is though, I would be nowhere without my husband.

One of our wedding pics. Isn't it fabulous?

First of all, he brings home the bacon. If he didn’t, I couldn’t afford my (presently) non-paying gigs of mom and writer. He goes to work everyday, often leaving the house before the kids and I have even gotten up. He works hard. He is motivated and he does NOT complain about it. Not even a little.

Do you want to know what I do the second he comes in the door? I lament about the day. “The kids were screaming. Screaming all DAY, I tell you! I’m so stressed. I just can’t handle this. Can you get me some wine?” (yes, picture my hand on my forehead, distressed southern belle style). And he listens. That’s all. I know, for a fact, I am ridiculous, but he just accepts it.

Next, he is a great father. My kids literally race to the door the second they hear the key turning in the lock at night. They know Daddy is home and Mommy is now chopped liver. He may not do everything exactly the way I would do it, and that is OK. The kids love him. He loves them. They know what to expect from him. He is also far more patient than I am. You would not want to be in my house at 3 a.m. when the kids have woken up for the 5th time that night. I turn into the Erin Monster. My husband remains ever calm. I don’t know how he does it.

I could go on and on. Really. I never tell him these things and I should. Lately though, I have more evidence to his greatness. When I told him I wanted to be a writer he didn’t laugh. He didn’t ask me for a perfectly detailed synopsis of the exact book I’m going to publish and when. He just said, “OK.” And then he let me write. He handles the kids at night and on weekends so I can have time for my craft. Again, he does NOT complain about it.

Then, he answers my totally hair-brained, off-the-wall brainstorming questions:

Me: Honey, if I was driving a car and ran into a brick wall, would I be able to drive away? Can you drive a car after the airbag has gone off?

Him: It would probably depend on how badly the car was damaged. How fast were you driving?

Me: Honey, is it possible to steal an airplane? Not, like, a commercial jet, but like a private plane? Could you hot-wire it like you would to steal a car? Or am I going to need to kill off some unsuspecting pilot character to get the keys off his body?

Him: Don’t kill the pilot.

He went to his pilot message boards (oh yeah, he flies planes for fun…hot!) and found the perfect article to support my theory (yes, it is possible. No, I won’t tell you how to do it).

Anyone else would think I was insane, but not him.

I couldn’t ask for a better support system. I hope I can learn to be just as supportive of him.

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4 thoughts on “Ode to my husband

  1. Oh the questions! You have me laughing out loud. It sounds so familiar.

    Only, most of mine are about guns. And bullets. And how far away could you kill someone with a certain caliber. And, if a guy was built in this certain way, how many pounds would he weigh? How many push-ups could he do? Ok, how many push-ups could he do if he was awesome?

    Men have all this useless knowledge (now useful to us). How do they retain it? And then they get on the internet and verify their information.

  2. Sounds like you have the perfect life-partner!I found mine 25 years ago.

    He never bemoans the hair-brained ideas I come up with & the time or money it takes to try to complete them. He has supported every attempt and occasional delay I experience to complete my degree. It has been 10 years of one class at a time, midnight (or later…) writing sessions, study groups and “bitching” dialogues about professors, math & chemistry (show your work-three page answers to one stupid question when I already knew the answer)and “don’t they understand I am a self-supporting, working adult learner – I am not 18 & spending my study time on FB” rants that I occasionally subject him too!

    He also inherited the psychological and sociological baggage that accompanies me from my very dysfunctional childhood. We’ve worked through that together. He has been so great – if there was an award for the perfect “step-dad” I think he would have won it hands down, although there were moments I am sure you and your brother would disagree.

    Here we are 25 years later…he still thinks I am beautiful. He still wants to share those intimate moments with only me…makes me want to cry (sigh).

    Enjoy him, appreciate him and remember that sometimes you have to keep your angry & critical thoughts to yourself because he’s worth it.

    Love you baby!

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