You guys…I think I have stalkers. Like. For realz. There’s no other explanation. The writers from The Office took every detail of my life and wrote it into hilarious sitcom form. Jim and Pam? Their real life names are Pete and Erin. Let me provide you with the evidence.
Pssst…if, for some reason, you haven’t heard about what happens on The Office and you’re just catching up on Netflix and don’t want spoilers…don’t read this. I won’t be offended. Promise.
Exhibit A: Receptionist falls for salesman
This is the exact same way I met my husband. Me: receptionist. Pete: sales manager. Not earth shattering, I know. Probably even cliché. But it gets creepier. If you watch The Office you know Pam was engaged to be married to someone else, all the while having feelings for Jim. Meanwhile, Jim patiently settled for stolen flirtations, inside jokes, emails and lunches (under the guise of friendship) until the stars aligned in his favor.
I wasn’t engaged to someone else when I met my husband, but I was living with someone else (yes, yes, I am a sinner, I know). My husband sat idly by, satisfied with being my friend while secretly hoping I’d choose him in the end.
Exhibit B: Bun in the oven at the wedding
Oh yes, if living with a man I wasn’t married to didn’t make you think I was a harlot in my younger years, maybe the fact that I was pregnant at my wedding will make you think so. Um. Yeah. The best things in life are often unexpected.
Anyway…on The Office, Jim and Pam discovered Pam was pregnant a few months before the wedding. And they kept it a secret, just like we did. If Pam’s mom had grabbed the microphone from the DJ and wished publicly for grandchildren (not knowing she’d get one sooner than she thought), it would have been spot on with my wedding. Though mine was missing the crazy processional flash mob. Oh well.
Exhibit C: The arrival of Baby Halpert
Now, I have to admit it: the baby episode on The Office was decidedly funnier than my real life birthing experience. I’ll spare you gruesome details. Childbirth, while beautiful, just isn’t pretty.
Funny or not, I could relate to many of the experiences Pam went through in the recovery room (sans creepy breastfeeding baby switch). And I definitely understood the feeling of helplessness. Someone allowing me to take home a baby was just all kinds of wrong. There is pretty much no one in the world less qualified to take home a new baby than a new parent. And yet, that’s what happens everyday. The universe is messed up.
Exhibit D: Pam is writing young adult novels
So last night I caught up on DVR’d episodes of The Office from the past few weeks. I couldn’t help but laugh at this line from Jim, referencing how he was stuck at his job, “Until I win the lottery…or Pam publishes that series of young adult novels.”
Oh.My.Gosh. Really? The evidence is pretty clear. I think it’s time I start checking my phone for bugs and watch for peeping toms in my bushes (though if the writers from The Office really did think my life was exciting enough for their TV show, I’d be honored).