Books I've Read / Family / Random Musings / Uncategorized

Calling in Sick

Sneeze

“Hi, boss? It’s me, Erin.”

*sniff*

“Yeah, I just wanted to let you know I can’t come to work today.”

*sneeze*

“My throat hurts and can’t you hear how my voice is all scratchy?”

*cough*

“And I’m just really weak and tired. My job is pretty physical and I’m not sure I can handle it.”

*blows nose*

“Plus, my neck is kind of sore and my job requires I lift two heavy packages several times a day and it kind of pulls all funny when I do that.”

*sips some tea*

“And I have this Nyquil hangover and I feel fuzzy and groggy. I don’t think I have the mental capacity to handle all the mediating and decision making I need to do.”

*cough*

“Plus, it’s kind of noisy on the job and I think it might aggravate my headache.”

*rubs temples*

“I really think if I could take the day and just sleep I could nip this thing in the bud. Just let my body rest and do its thing. Ya know?”

*waits*

“What? Go get you some more Cheerios? And some juice? And help you wash your hands because they’re all dirty? And clean up the milk from the kitchen floor? And…so, no then, huh?”

*ignores body aches to get off the couch*

“OK. You’re probably right…it’s not so bad…”

*pours preschooler some juice, picks up a baby (or two)*

“I’ve had much worse. Yeah, don’t worry about it. I’ll be right in.”

In honor of my not-so-nice cold (which feels a little better today than it did over the weekend), I thought I’d leave you with one of my favorite poems: Sick by Shel Silverstein. I’ve loved it since I was a kid.

"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"
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16 thoughts on “Calling in Sick

  1. Seriously thought my mom (and consequently, myself, as well) was the only one who said, “nip this in the bud.” Hope you feel better soon. My mom (who had seven children) was also known for saying, “You just have to get up and get busy!” whenever we were sick. She never indulged the sniffles. My philosophy: Milk it for all it’s worth!

    • I’m somewhere in between your philosophies–if given the opportunity I will sleep it off and milk it. But, if not, then I just push through (not w/o whining though, I’m kind of a whiner…probably where my kids get it).

    • Thanks, lady. I think I’ll survive :). I had a busy weekend, so between that and this cold I was BEAT at 8pm last night. I went to bed before my 3 y/o, LOL. But I’m feeling stuffy today, but not terrible.

  2. Great post. I love Shel Silverstein, too. I remember those days of taking care of kids when you’re feeling sick, and it’s even worse when they’re sick, too. No fun. I hope you feel better soon.

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