Random Musings

The 5 Most Poisonous Halloween Candy Bars

As the mother to three very young children, I feel it is my duty to protect them from the evils of poisonous Halloween candy. Sure, sure. Trick or treating is all fun and games, until someone bites into something lethal. So to help others who may share in Halloween Candy Protection Duty, I thought I would share the five candy bars most likely to be poisonous.

1.) Kit Kat Bars

Hiding between the layers of chocolate and crisp wafers is poison. That’s right. Poison. Best not to let your kids eat this one.

2.) Reeses Peanut Butter Cups (In Any Shape or Size)

You only think that’s delicious peanut butter inside chocolate cups. You wanna know what it really is? Poison. Evil, evil poison.

3.) Snickers

It’s chocolate. It’s peanuts. It’s caramel. It’s nougat. NO! It’s POISON! If you see this in your child’s candy bag, confiscate it immediately before they can take a bite.

4.) Almond Joy

 

I admit there is some discrepancy here, as others have reported that they have never found Almond Joy to be particularly poisonous. If you happen to come upon a safe batch in your child’s candy bag, by all means, let them keep it. But every single Almond Joy bar I have ever found has been quite poisonous.

5.) Twix

Watch out for this doozy of a treat–twin candy bars in one package. Double the poison.

 

If you stay vigilant in the hunt for these dangerous items, your children should stay safe this Halloween. It’s a tough job being a parent, but someone has to do it. What? I’ve got some nougat on my teeth? Oh, dear. How embarrassing.

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20 thoughts on “The 5 Most Poisonous Halloween Candy Bars

  1. ha – i love this post. my office just had a halloween party, and there is mini candy everywhere. i didnt’ see it on your list, but i hear baby ruth is like arsenic in a foil wrapper πŸ˜‰

  2. Almonds do, in fact, contain trace amounts of cyanide. Luckily, I’ve built up an immunity to it, so feel free to send all your Almond Joy bars to me. You know, for your childrens sake.

  3. The best time to steal from – I mean, protect – your children from hazardous candy is before they know how to count. At young ages, they simply know that there were several Hershey’s Kisses in the bag. All too soon, they are can say, “Mom, I KNOW I had 8 Hershey’s Kisses in here, and all I can find are 5. Do you know where those 3 went?” Then you have to swallow quickly, wipe your mouth, and stand back so they can’t smell your breath as you say, “Go ask your daddy. He steals candy sometimes, you know.” Great post, Erin! Ah, the memories.

  4. the reese’s cups are the most poisonous in our house. the mixture of chocolate & peanut butter just ups the poison, you know. πŸ˜‰ Gotta protect the kids. lol

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