I know, I know, Christmas is all I’m talking about lately. But, dudes. It’s that time of year. And since I’m so full of helpful and festive ideas, I thought I’d add a few more. Because it’s very important to keep Santa happy. And to keep Santa happy, you need to feed him good cookies. Santa doesn’t like bad cookies.
Santa’s 5 Favorite Christmas Cookies
These cookies pack a double punch. Not only are they delicious, they are also very important in Santa Nutrition. You see, they have peanut butter in them. Which is protein. Which Santa needs for his long night of work. The chocolate kiss on top will give him a quick burst of sugary-carbo-energy and the peanut butter protein will sustain him after that. Don’t be selfish. Make sure you fuel the man for bringing joy to the entire world. Or, you know, his duty of wrapping presents through the wee hours of the morning because he was too
lazy unorganized busy to wrap them before Christmas Eve.
My grandma makes the best ginger snaps ever. And don’t try to tell me YOUR grandma does. Because I don’t believe you. And neither does Santa. So that’s why I give him at least one–or three–on Christmas Eve. (OK, OK, so your grandma’s recipe is pretty good. You should share yours with Santa too)
Why? Because if you don’t like these, you hate Christmas. Do you want lumps of coal in your/your children’s stockings? I didn’t think so. Plus, sometimes Santa gets a little melancholy on Christmas thinking of those who aren’t there to celebrate with him anymore. And looking at these–especially if they were decorated with children–makes him happy again. We like a happy Santa.
When else can Santa enjoy ooey-goey marshmallowy, artificially-colored, wreath-shaped, corn flakes? Never. Because Mrs. Claus refuses to make them at any other time of year. She says it takes away from other holidays to make them when it’s not Christmas. So Santa needs to eat as many as possible on Christmas Eve. Don’t disappoint the man.
These are Santa’s favorite cookies of all time. So what if he can get them any old day of the year? There is never an inappropriate time for a chocolate chip cookie. So toss a few on the plate. Maybe one for Rudolph too. Reindeer like chocolate chip cookies.*
Santa works hard all year, but especially on Christmas Eve. Help keep him jolly and his belly like a bowl of jelly by feeding him his favorite cookies. (Don’t worry, just like everyone else, Santa has a New Year’s resolution to lose 15 pounds)
*Only magical reindeer like chocolate chip cookies. Please don’t feed any to normal reindeer. They might get sick. And that would be bad.