Family

An Open Letter to My Children

Dear Children (My Children, Specifically):

In a mere four days time, two of you will be turning two years old.

This. Cannot be allowed to happen.

I don’t know what you think you’re doing, growing up and getting bigger. But it must stop. Before you up and become teenagers and you waking me at 2a.m. means suspicion over what you’ve been doing all night and not an extra snuggle like it does now.

I know it’s coming someday. So let’s do what we can to delay, OK? Let’s stick with the littleness and the cuteness, I’ll even take the snotty noses (which we seem to have an abundant supply of lately), if you’ll just stay small for as long as possible.

Deal?

It’s already too late for you, 4-year-old. Someone at the KCYF* was slacking this year. Your birthday came and went and Boom! My son is officially older. I suppose whoever was in charge of keeping you small thought it was a holiday or something. But I still think it being Christmas Eve was no excuse for letting you grow up. I remember wondering what Christmas dinner in the maternity ward would taste like and now you’re asking me questions like, “Why does Santa pack the toys in boxes?” or “Why do airplanes have a propeller on the front, but helicopters have one on the top?” or “Where does poo-poo come from?” See the problem here? You’re too smart for me already! Think about it, if you’re asking me these questions now, the day where I no longer have all the answers is coming sooner than I thought. (Although, *fist bumps Google*)

I love you all very dearly, so I hope you will forgive my antics. I’m going to try everything. Heavy books stacked on  your head so you can’t grow taller. Coffee-spiked milk (“What? It’s chocolate. Just drink it. Yum!”),  it stunts your growth, you know. Bribery–you want a cookie, don’t you? Only if you don’t grow up! Multiple screenings of Peter Pan, he’s a fabulous role model. And if all that fails, I’m still on the hunt for a personal genie or wizard or something and he or she will do my bidding.

Now that I’ve explained all this, I thank you in advance for your cooperation. You understand.

Love,

Mommy

*KCYF = Keeping Children Young Forever. Kind of like the CIA: They’d tell you, but they’d have to kill you. 

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10 thoughts on “An Open Letter to My Children

  1. Cute! You’re absolutely right! Once they become teenagers their issues change and as the parent you’re only wish is that you could go back to the 2 am foodings, the snooty noses and teaching of ABC’s! But you’ll be fine!

  2. I love this post. Especially since my oldest boy is about 1/4 inch away from looking me eye-to-eye. (How did that happen?!!) I will say that there is something to treasure about every age your kids go through.

  3. KCYF? I wish I knew about this group a long time ago and maybe by joining I could have stopped what just happened! My baby is almost 18 and my other baby just turned 13! I mourn (and I’m not kidding) the fact that they are older and that the 18-year-old talks about moving out. I feel SO old and miss, miss, MISS the days when they were babes.
    Patti

  4. Laughing and crying here Erin! I have a letter like this sitting around here somewhere waiting to be added to a scrapbook. Oldest is already as tall if not slightly taller than me and #2 isn’t far behind :sniffle: It’s bittersweet wanting to stop the clock yet experience all the different stages with them.

  5. LOL…just you wait…my son recently turned 30….

    forget about the cuteness…i’d settle for a first digit less than 3, much less a single digit….it goes faster than you can imagine…

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