Conversations You Never Thought You’d Have

To understand this story, here is what you need to know. We own these two toy sets. They are exactly the same, except for the color and faces on the characters. One is Batman themed. One is Christmas. This, apparently, makes all the difference in the world.

Son 1: No, the Joker can’t go in the Christmas Cave.

Son 2: Here, Joker. Vrrrroooom. To the Christmas Cave!

Son 1: NO! The Joker goes in the Bat Cave, not the Christmas Cave. Go put him in the Bat Cave.

Son 2 cries.

Me: The Joker could go in the Christmas Cave if Santa would let him.

Son 1: No. The Joker is a bad guy.

Me: Sure he could. Maybe Santa and Batman team up and feed the bad guys magical candy canes that turn them into helpers. So the Joker can come in now.

Son 1: Santa does not feed the Joker candy canes. The Joker is a bad guy.

Me: Just pretend the Joker is a clown, OK? They’re kind of the same thing with all the creepy face paint. And clowns are kind of like elves and elves are allowed in the Christmas Cave.

Son 1 and Son 2 stare at Mommy.

Me: Um. OK. It was just a suggestion. As you were.



14 thoughts on “Conversations You Never Thought You’d Have

  1. If there’s anything I’ve learned from being a parent of two young children, it’s that you should never try to rationalize with a toddler. They’ll just look at you funny, and nothing will be resolved.

    Great post!

  2. Haha! Can totally relate! I love the things I say now that I have a child…the irony of some of our conversations just kills me and then she just wonders why mommy is rolling on the floor cracking up. “What? Was it something I said?” And then I have to explain it all like Louis C.K. in his “Why?” routine (but without the expletives) because we are the “answer questions straight up honestly” type of parents. ;-P Great post, as always, Erin!

  3. Very impressive – you ruined Christmas and Batman in 34 words.
    I believe that’s a record!

    Is this conversation a case of “If you can’t convince ’em, confuse ’em”?

    • It’s a special talent, I admit :).

      I think it’s a case of “Mommy thought it would be cool to connect the two sets and make a long series of bridges, but the boys weren’t having it.” Plus, I had the Santa car and if Joker couldn’t go in the Christmas Cave, then Santa couldn’t go in the Bat Cave. And doesn’t Santa deserve the Bat Cave? :). Sometimes I have to remind myself I’m 32, not 3.

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